A Discovery Most Foul...Fowl?

When Nichole was in town last week, she was able to witness first hand my extreme levels of being naive. Kurt rented “The Exorcism of Emily Rose” for our Friday the 13th party, and although I fell asleep on the floor about halfway through, it still scared me. Scared me to the point of insisting Nichole sleep with me in the guest bedroom so nothing would “get me.” Little did I know what horrors truly awaited me that night.
As we nestled down in the big, comfy bed I felt something at my feet. Something hard and plastic. Thinking perhaps, a toy of Austin’s had found it’s way under the sheets, I reached down to retrieve it and toss it aside. Discovering the “toy” had a long wire, I thought it was a small MP3 player…it was dark and I couldn’t see so I handed the object in question to Nichole for her to examine. After about 2 seconds, she dropped it and yelped “That’s no MP3 player! That’s a vibrator!” Within minutes the beastly object had been thrown to the floor and Nichole and I were in the bathroom scrubbing our hands clean. Okay, so I have never used, touched, or seen a…vibrator. There are worse things to be ignorant of in life right? For example, the correct way to floss ones teeth. The proper maintenance and storage of cheese. How to tie your shoes….

By the way, the object in question belonged to Elizabeth’s little sister Aaron and her husband Jake. Eeewwwww…back the counseling I go.