Another Suzy Adventure in Wonderland

I arrived at work this morning and began my robotic routine of opening the offices for business. Lights were turned on, coffee bubbled happily in silver pots, and I began to stock the refrigerators with various soft drinks and bottled waters. As I reached to the pantry for a few of cans of Fresca, however I realized I wasn’t alone. Slowly, shakily I glanced over my shoulder. My visitors eyed me with curiosity from the fruit bowl. Red hide with cruel-looking thorns all over, the creatures seemed hostile. Paralysis took over as I feared any sudden movement on my part would cause them to attack. Minutes passed, then hours*, and finally I decided to creep away and make my escape.
The door was near, as was freedom and safety. My hand felt the cool brass of the doorknob, but something held me back. I looked back again at the creatures who sat still as statues…then fear turned to desire and I had to have, had to feel it’s thorns touch my skin…
Quick as lightening, I snatched one and took it to my desk. Cut open the thick outer shell and was delighted to find what looked like a giant grape inside. Sweet and juicy, its nectar filled my soul with enlightened satisfaction. But what is this strange fruit of which I partake? No one seems to know. It is NOT a prickly pear though, we have established that much.