For Jez…Some Annoying Advice You’re Probably Sick of Hearing

NEVER date a man who:
*Uses the word “ain’t.” The only time “ain’t” is acceptable is when mocking red-necks, Sweet-bros, gangstas’ and Anna Nichole Smith.
*Tries to “bum” anything off of you-whether it is a “smoke” a “buck” or anything else.
*Burns incense in his crappy little apartment that he shares with eight other stinky dudes.
*Gets frisky with you and then accuses YOU of taking advantage of his vulnerability.
*Has a tattoo with his OTHER girlfriend’s name in it, and then asks you to rub lotion on it because it is “dry and sensitive.”
*Considers the “F” word a noun, verb, or adjective.

In other words-Nikki, you are NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO JOEY EVER AGAIN!!!