Best Dream Ever

Oingo Boingo was doing a reunion concert in one of the Penthouses at Monte Carlo and I was on the guest list!
For some reason, Danny Elfman came out and played a Smiths song. (Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I want)
This dream was rudely interrupted by the terrifying sound of a woman screaming outside. I don't know what happened, but in my sketchy neighborhood, I wasn't about to do any investigating. I guess I'll read about it on the news!

Night One

Last night I awoke at 3 a.m. to the haunting sound of kitty moaning. Was one of the cats in pain? I was too scared to do anything, as thoughts of some of the creepy neighbors doing horrible things to our precious felines. If they were in the hands of some cruel human, what could I do to save them? My fear intensified after hearing a cat-hiss, followed by a loud, gutteral cat-shriek. What could I do? I had no choice but to wait out the night. Needless to say, I slept little after that, despite the Nyquil.

This morning, both cats are fine. I guess I had nothing to worry about. I hope this doesn't happen again!

ALONE!

Kurt and Elizabeth are going to be out of town from today until Sunday. I hope all of my sisters are prepared for what that means-midnight phone calls from Suzy because she heard a strange noise or saw an apparition or feels a presence. Yup. I will be seeing shadow, hearing voices, and getting unexplained chills before th week's out, mark my word.

Ten Dollars

I have ten dollars. Cold. Hard. Cash. In my wallet. Right now.


I will probably spend it all on tacos by the week's end.


So this is my life.

Why I'll Never Break the Word of Wisdom

Fighting this cold has been a harrowing experience as always, and yet I haven't hated it because whenever I get sick, I'm able to partake of the sweet, sweet, sleepy green pills called "Nyquil." Oh how I love the heavy, wooden feeling in my limbs as the drug takes hold and forces me into a deep, soft slumber. I love laying on the couch, savoring that feeling for minutes at a time watching TV that just seems to be white noise, muffled by the wonderful mask of restfulness.

It's almost hard to know the cold will be leaving me soon, and I'll be forced to sleep naturally without the cozy feeling of Nyquil to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. Instead of cozily crashing at 7:30 pm, I'll stay up until 9:30 or even 10pm!

I'll buy another box, but I shan't touch it. I'll just think about it...dream about it...wonder about it...until the next cold.

I regret NOTHING!

Last night, I heard a delightful and rare-to-Las Vegas sound. Deep and powerful, the sound I heard was thunder! Blue and white lightning lit up the dark, cloudy sky. Within minutes I was outside, breathing deeply to take in the fresh, wet scent of inevitable rain. The wind was warm and clean and washed over me while I stood, jubilant in my striped pajamas. When the rain finally poured down I stood in it for just a moment, before running inside to my bedroom, opening the window and snuggling under the covers. Lightning and thunder were my lullabies and I slept wonderfully.

This morning, however....I'm paying dearly for my romp in the rain. Head pounding, lungs burning, coughing and sneezing. Tonight will be a Nyquil and soup night for sure.

Yet, last night was so perfect. I truly regret nothing.

What's for dinner, Ma?

With the lovely Elizabeth laden with child (children) I've been wanting to pitch in a little more with meal making and such. I've come to realize, that though the desire is there, I haven't a domestic bone in my body. What do I do? Where do I start?

Oh my.

Retainers: A new tool for Weight Loss?

Haunted by dreams of teeth falling out or getting so crooked and jagged that they coil in horrifying spirals out of my mouth, I've decided to start wearing my retainers full time again.

Delighted, I've discovered these orthadontic devices offer me more than just strait teeth and an end to the nightmares. These painful jaw clamps also aid as an appetite supressant. Who wants to snack on crunch Gardettos when your teeth feel so loose and tender that just sipping water is painful? You could pop the retainer out and have a snack, but your snack would still have to be soft and after consuming said soft snack (say that three times fast!) you would be faced with the unpleasant task of putting the retainer back in your mouth. Zowie, you don't want to do that! Once its in, it stays in, for replacing it can often be as painful as the initial placement.

It's nearly 10 a.m. and I've had nothing to eat whatsoever. This may seem like no big feat (or feet for that matter) but usually by this time I've had: a bowl of cheerios with fruit, a bag of cheetos or gardettos or doritos, and possibly a bagel w/ cream cheese or candy bar. That's a lotta snacking for so early in the day!

So let me just say, thank you retainer, for straitening my teeth and trimming my waist.

Ugly Sideburns Make Me Smile

Yesterday whilst singing the opening hymn in Sacrament meeting, a tall lanky fellow with goofy sideburns sat next to me.
"I know you" says he. Says I...nothing, but what I didn't say in words I made up with in blank stare conveying my lack of recognition.
"It's been a really long time." He said. His profile revealed a large, jagged nose which jarred my memory. Oh laws. It was Mr. Q*, the first guy I fell for after my divorce. The same guy who told me who couldn't see me anymore because he didn't want someone who was divorced. How nice it was to look into the eyes of this lanky Larry and see that after all this time, he is the one with the super ugly, trying to hard to be hip sideburns.



*Almost his actual name.

Saints be praised, it's an Effing Miracle!

I just realized I didn't watch one second of TV last night. This means I'm not hopeless after all. This also means I missed The Simpsons. Eff.

Crotchless Pants

Sure wish I was wearing some o' dem right now. These stupid capris have been giving me camel toe all day.