Hot Dawwwwwg!!!

I'm going to Utah this weekend!

Awaiting me in Utah are the following:

old weather
A beautiful sister
Eric and his perfect little fam
Slightly neurotic Mother
Recently laid-off Daddy-O
General Conference
Books About UFOs concert
No Daryn (in Colorado just thought I would clarify that for the 50millionth time for all of you who think that's the only reason I'm going this weekend!)

Hmmm....looks like I'm in for an interesting weekend. Methinks the plusses outweigh the negatives. What say ye?

A Glimpse...

Whilst out on my morning constitutional today, I observed a homeless woman. Her stooped figure was layered in filthy clothes and she had formed a makeshift bonnet out of pieces of tattered garbage bag. Pushing her cart full of mysterious belongings, she hypnotized me with her methodically slow movements. Each step was so slow, they were barely noticeable…not unlike a sloth. Why did she walk so slowly? Was she in pain? Perhaps she was lost. I think I know why she walked as slow as she did…she was in no hurry for she had nowhere to go. I on the other hand, took a quick glance at my watch and realized I had better hurry, for I had to be to work by 8 a.m, it was nearly 7, and I had yet to shower.

Fine BE THAT WAY!!!

If you guys aren't going to blog than neither am I. Here are the scintillating things you will all be missing out on:

1. A description of the milkshake I'm enjoying right now.
2. More twitterpated ramblings
3. A discussion on why "chums" are great for holding your glasses to your head, but bad for fly fishing.
4. Comparing mimes vs. a mentally ill homeless person talking to his shoe
5. My complete list on why I'm done, done, done, done, done, trying to learn Spanish.
6. A kick in the pants
7. Why I enjoy listening to other people's conversations
8. Your mama
9. Why I want to get an ear candling done
10. Colon cleansing anyone?

I hope you're all pleased with yourselves.

It's about bloody time!!!!

Saints be praised, my baby girl has finally found herself a cool guy! So here's the run down on Aaron. He started talking to Gena on LDS Linkup, which I talked Gena into joining. He's been writing me for the past week or so telling me how wonderful he thinks Gena is and how grateful he is to me for getting her to join the site otherwise they would have never met. They snowboard together, and since he designs his own line of t-shirts they talk about FASHION together. It is a match made in Heaven...and unlike the Useless Vine, Aaron LIKES ME. This last fact is important, because as the Spice Girls once said, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." Way to go Gena! This one's a keeper!

Converted

Throat...not swollen! Life...not being sucked away! Limbs...not aching! Suzy...not feeling like an old lady anymore, except for the early bed times, mall-walking, and raisin bran to stay regular. Yes my dear sisters, the antibiotics worked! Who woulda thought science and medicine actually knew what they were doing?

ZuZu -

Just wanted to tell you to get better soon - I don't want you to remain "sickly" or else we might have to send you to Burmuda for the rest of your delicate life.

Kisses

Shoes

That’s it. I’m smitten and there’s no turning back. How do I know I’ve crossed the line from simple interest to full on infatuation? The shoes told me. Now, your eyes may be bulging and you are more than likely thinking to yourself “Great. Looks like we need to lock Suzy in the rubber room, with rats, rubber rats, I hate rubber rats, they make me crazy!” Worrying for me so is in vain, for I have not, as they say “lost it.” I didn’t literally mean a pair of shoes conversed with me and told me how smitten I was. As a rule, I do not communicate with lifeless, inanimate objects. Besides being strange, it is a fruitless pastime, as they rarely communicate back. And when they do…LOOK OUT!
Anyway, what I am getting at is Daryn left for Salt Lake yesterday. Last night I was getting ready to climb into my snuggly bed when I saw something on the floor by my couch. It was a pair of enormous black men’s dress shoes. Normally, men’s shoes don’t have much of an effect on me unless they are Converse All-stars…but when I saw Daryn’s shoes I went “Awwwwwwww.” Literally, I awwwed over a pair of men’s shoes. Don’t worry, the miniswoon stopped there. I didn’t kiss them, put them on and do a tap dance, or sleep with them. In fact, I didn’t even touch them. After all, they are just shoes. But I can’t guarantee that I won’t awww over them again….

Tonight...

Tonight I'm going to go the gym, then get a snack.

Then I'm going to:
Study my Spanish
Watch The State disc that Daryn gave me
Go to bed BY NINE, because I'm one tired mowhore.

WHY????

I just posted a nice, juicy blog chock full of scandelous details of the weekend's events and it dissapeared into cyber oblivion!!

Oh well, I guess you ladies will just have to call if you want to know what happened.

XOXO

More Scary Stories to Tell in The Dark...

No, this post isn't about a man who makes sausage out of children and serves it in his deli...it isn't about the girl driving home who's warned about a ravenous killer in the backseat of her car by a stranger flashing high beams. It's not even the one where the lady attends what she thinks is Christmas mass...only to find that she has attended a mass consisting only of the dead. This is post is about dating and falling in love. Two things that scare me so much right now. I'm not cynical, I'm not bitter. I'm just exhausted from all the hurt and confusion these two things always seem to cause me. I bring this up because I may be falling for someone again...he tells me everything I want to hear and it makes me feel so good. It also frightens me because I wonder if he's just another smooth talker who's going to sweep me off my feet only to "get mixed up" and decide he doesn't have time for love. I don't like this post because it's revealing so many insecurities I wish I didn't have. I hate to expose how much I care, I wish I didn't care. Ah, to be callused (sp) and abrasive so that I'd never feel the nauseating pain of two hands wrenching my beating heart from me, only to discard it when things aren't perfect. Boy, that was dramatic. Are we sure this isn't Nick posting? Ah, Nick...I kid, I kid! I guess I'm just trying to brace myself for the difficult road ahead...but who knows? Maybe this guy is for real, or maybe after spending a whole weekend together I'll realize I'm not that interested after all. Maybe things will be okay. Maybe. But if he is for real, and things work out that's another scary story in itself because if I married him...it would mean...MOVING BACK TO UTAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But at least I don't have to worry about THAT for awhile. Chances are, I'll be in China before that ever becomes an option. Let's cross our fingers shall we?

Sniff

What is that? Smells like FRIDAY!!!!!

Oh BOY!

Hungee

Deep Fried Mac and Cheese. I know it sounds crazy, but it is delicious!!!

Scallops served on a bed of bacon, spinache and potatoe...

Ya BABY!!!

Amazing grACE...In Ace We Trust

So am I the only one who thinks Ace Young is an angel sent directly from Heaven to save humanity with the power of song and dreamy good looks?

Constants

In my life, I have several constants.

The feeling of exhaustion no matter how much sleep I get. (Maybe I have low iron or somefen?)
Insecurity every time I begin dating someone new.
Cravings for nachos and other salty/spicy foods.
A feeling that I should be doing something BIGGER with my life.
Nightmares and Funky Dreams

How does one rid their life of such constants?

China

The wheels are in motion, and my transfer to Macau, China is making the slow transition to another far-fetched fantasy to actual reality. And it makes me very happy! To live in a foreign country, if even for a year will be an adventure of such magnitude I know it will impact my life forever.

But then, the silly little voice in my head nags at me...
"Won't you miss your family?"
"What about all those handsome American fellers?"
"Are you willing to put school on hold for a year and become even furthur behind?"

I don't really have an answer to all of the questions yet. But at least I still have about 4 months before I know for sure where my fate lies.

More Mozzerella

Every now and then life throws you a golden treat of an afternoon that lifts your spirit to the skies and inspires you to believe everything is as it should be. I was given such an afternoon yesterday and I'm still basking in the peace it gave me.
I had my morning all planned out. 11:30 post office, 12:00 taxes, and then go to they gym. Well, my tax appointment (yes, I'm a number moron so I still have H & R Block do them for me) was bumped to 1:00 which skewed my schedule ever so slightly. I didn't mind! Black clouds covered the sky and it was beautiful to me, so I took the time I had remaining before my taxes to stroll about the shopping complex H&R block was located in.
Icy cold wind picked up and while it cut through the red hoodie I was wearing, I couldn't help but notice a delicious, spicy aroma riding upon it. Taking Tucan Sam's advice, I "followed my nose," and it took me to Siena Italian Food Store and Cafe.
Had I known such a place existed in Las Vegas I would have visited it sooner! As soon as I set foot in the little shop I forgot I was in the desert...I was in Italy, in a family owned shop where all were welcome. A tiny dining area was crowded with happy patrons and an elderly yet spry man was seated in a polished wooden chair playing traditional music on the accordian. I browsed several minutes taking in the atmosphere before finally ordering a serving of fresh mozzerella and a steaming bowl of Italian sausage soup with vegetables that came with a large, chewy piece of garlic bread. I seated myself near a group of Italian men ranging from their 40s to 70s who had pushed two tables together. Joyfully sharing wine they poured from a fat glass jug, the men conversed in Italian and were clearly enjoying themselves. Every now and then, the man playing the accordian would start a tune they were clearly familiar with and they would all begin to sing with perfect pitch and amazing clarity. I wanted to stay and listen to them forever. I wanted to sit at there table, but I was happy to be near them and observe them as well. Did they wonder, perhaps, about the blonde girl seated alone who kept peering at them with such interest? All the while the man kept playing according with such a sublime expression and kind eyes...I was overcome with the feeling that nothing bad could ever happen as long as he kept playing. I ended staying there nearly an hour, long after my plate had been cleared, just soaking in the feeling of the moment.
At the risk of rambling more and more about this thing I can't quite explain, I will simply say...I know where I'm having lunch next Saturday!

Another Friday Edition of Nothing To Blog About!!!

The title says it all doesn't it?

Things I WON'T be doing this weekend:
-Chasing Spider Monkeys around my bedroom
-Dancing a traditional Celtic Jig at Nine Fine Irishmen
-Eating "Sweetbread" again
-Climbing Everest
-Anything outdoors-it is SO EFFING COLD HERE!

Things I WILL be doing this weekend:
-Going to bed early to rest up for an exhausting weekend with Gena
-Eating at Fixx with Gena
-Dancing with Gena
-Begging Gena to call it a night because I'm still sick and completely worn out.
-Getting irritated with Gena because she doesn't want to go home.
-Being sad when Gena goes back to Utah Sunday.

How about all of you?

Inspired by Motherhussie

Oh, guys, I'm laughing so hard right now!!!

Tap Dancing Turnip Salesmen(okay, I'm a nerd laughing at my own words right now, but can you picture it...tap, tap, tappa "Hello? Are you the princess of this fine castle? Would you like to buy a turnip?" tap, tap, tappidy, tap-too-tah-tap)

Hogie Hauling Hunchbacks (Did I mention the Hunchbacks were tap dancing?)

Baton Twirling Babies in Baton Rouge (awwww, cute!)

Wicker doll jamboree (can I come too? I hear there's going to be a cake walk!)

Scaley pan-handling mummies (The sign, on a dirty scrap of parchment would read "Hungry and Tombless-oh my gosh, I'm on a ROLL!)

Bulbous Bar Tenders in Bouncing Badly (Boys, that is the WOST bouncing I've ever seen! Must be those bulbous tumors coming out of your head)

Succulent shrimp scampie...nothing funny about that word combo, but it does sound delicious doesn't it?

Crazy Cat Lady Convention (You DON'T want to go that convention)

Sandalwood Pie

Paisley Print Pee Stains on Patent Leather...Chaps (Thought I was going to say shoes, didn't ya?)

Sneezing on your computer...not funny, but actually happened to me about 6 times today.
Anyhoo, over and out.

-Suzy

Through the Eyes of Nyquil

Unique names are always fun to discuss through a thick, warm mind cloud of Nyquil. Jennie told me about her friend named Unice. She goes by Uni for short. I declared that as AWESOME, and proceeded to ramble about how if I had Triplets, I would name the girl UniCORN, the boy UniBROW, the hermaphrodite UniSEX…and if later I had a “special” baby I would name it UniTARD. Even as I type this I’m well aware of how ridiculous and wrong this all is! But that’s the magic of Nyquil. I don’t even mind being sick…much.

Things I Hate to Run Out Of

1. Toilet Paper
2. Peach Fresca and/or 7Up Plus
3. Fruit Snacks
4. Tampons
5. Toothpaste
6. Deoderant
7. Material for my blogs.

I'm Too Sexy for My Toe

'Twas a chill February evening when I, an innocent girl of not yet 25 years fell prey to a horrible, senseless toe-stubbing. Mind numbing pain and an unsightly limp were the least of my worries, for as I changed the toenail polish a few days later a terrifying truth was revealed to me. The stubbing had caused an impact crack all the way down my beloved toenail nail. Typically one doesn't appreciate full, healthy toenails until one is injured thusly, but I am an exception. A lover of all things feet, I take great pride in my tootsies and this new development filled me with such misery I could hardly bare to look nor think of it.
A short trip to California was a minor distraction and I had my sister Charise, who is something of a super-glue expert attempted a minor surgury on said toenail ensuring it would not snag on a sock, blanket, or furry alien and be violently ripped off before its time. Operation super-glue was a minor success and as a testiment of this, this beautiful March morn, I sat in the back yard barefoot and was hypnotized by the miraculous healing of my toe. Where once was a horrible cracked nail threating to rise off the nail bed in such fashion as those horrible commerials for fungi removal, there was now a healthy, pink nubbin of a nail growing forth new and beautiful. The cracked, dead nail popped off with a satisfying snap and I am pleased to report I am free of it's menacing presence.
Let this be a lesson to all of you, dear readers. Toenails are to be cherished, appreciated and loved at all times! I was lucky...I could have lost my toe. I could have lost my leg. I could have lost the ability to walk, and think, and love. Life has given me a second chance...will you be so fortunate?

Party

I'm tired. I want to go home, put my jammies on and read a book until I fall asleep.
I want to order pizza and watch tellie.

But no...

I have to go to a swanky party at The Palms. Which means...
*Spending too much time on my hair
*Wearing shoes that hurt my feet
*Getting Dressed up

But this also means...

*Fancy appetizers (I don't know how to spell h'ors devours)
*Shirley Temples
*Men in suits

So I shan't complain...oh wait, I guess I already have.