Always the LAST to know!

Last night I went to a birthday party Kallen was throwing for our friend LaVonne. Lavonne is a guy who I keep calling LaVern on accident, no matter how many times we hang out. It drives him nuts, but he is a good sport about it. I had called Brent earlier to see if he wanted to drive over together, but he never called me back. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but then as we were all seated at dinner my friend Krishelle asked “Suzy, have you gone to visit Brent yet?” Stupidly I replied “Visit him where?” “What? Didn’t anyone tell you? Brent was in a really bad motorcycle accident and he’s in the hospital.” Horrified at my lack of information regarding one of my best friends in the world, I realized just how selfish I’ve been the past few weeks. Everything has been about me, me, me and that is a horrible way to live. Starting here and now I vow to put “Number One” on the back burner, maybe even consider “Number One” as “Number Two,” or even “Number Three.” What a concept!! I did talk to Brent though. He was conscious, though heavily drugged and we had a nice chat. I think he’s going to pull through. He is even considering giving up motorcycles for good.
So how do I begin my new quest of unselfishness? Do I start by signing up to participate in the Cake Walk for Obesity, or Hiking for Hemorrhoids? There are so many great charities to choose from, and this is the time of year to do it. But where do I start?

Not compleeeeeeetely retaaaaaaarded after all!

There, that's better. It only took me ALL morning to figure out why I couldn't load these...yeesh.

I'm All Sortsa Retaaaaaaarded!!

I was talking to my friend Scott who was also at the Depeche Mode concert and VIP after party. We were gushing about how wonderful the experience was and I told him I was thrilled to meet everyone except for Martin Gore. "Really?" He says "I met Martin Gore and I could have sworn you did too." Ya, I'm a dumb-dumb who had the band memebers ALL mixed up. David Gahan is the beautiful lead singer who never appeared at the party. Scott, the expert informed me that he has battled drug problems in the past and in an effort to stay clean NEVER attends after parties of any kind. Martin Gore is the fabulous blonde who wore the angel wings and makeup. I'm so glad I didn't blurt out something like "David, it is SO nice to meet you," when really it was Martin Gore. I'm still a little embarassed about this and don't know WHY I'm admitting this online where my sisters will surely ridicule me mercilessly. But I deserve it, especially since Charise said "Should I bring my camera to the show?" And I said "Nah, I don't think the Joint lets you bring in cameras." Well, upon arrival at Will Call I discovered two things; the joint doesn't frisk for cameras, AND Staci had arranged for us to meet the band at a little after party. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, my stupidity will haunt me forever. And another reason I feel retarded, is I can't upload the pictures we took after we got home...what is wrong with me today?????????

TOLD YOU SO!!!

If this doesn't make you laugh, well then I just give up.

Funny....

I don't know if it is because I'm so chipper about having a few days off of work this week, but everything seems particularly funny to me today. This morning I got dressed for work, took a look at myself. Hilariously cute! I'm wearing these precious pink pants that look like something Doris Day would wear, a white cardigan and since it is freezing cold, that fluffy leapord print coat. Top it off with huge pink sunglasses and my little pink shoes, I sooo don't belong to this era. I look like I should be off to a bridge game with the "gals" where we will get roaring drunk on margaritas and dine on recipe's from the Ladies Home Journal.

Another silly moment-this morning at work, I'm in the main office kitchen. I'm stocking the fridge, making the coffee, etc. when there is a knock on the door. A KNOCK on the kitchen door. Hilarious! I open it up and there is a gentleman who is in our office quite frequently. "Hi" I said with a grin. "You don't need to knock...it's the kitchen. What did you think I was doing in here?" Poor guy blushed and asked for a bottle of water. So funny!

Sorry, both of these stories are probably not in amusing in the least to you, the reader. So with my free time at work today (and there will be SO much, we are extremely slow) I will find something genuinely, universally funny to post.
The end.

I need an adventure...

November 21st already, can you believe it? Well, I say it is definitely time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. If you start now, you will be prepared and ready to begin accomplishing them when the old ball drops, fireworks explode in the cold January sky, and kisses are flowing as fast and freely as champagne…or in my case, sparkling apple cider and a peck on the cheek. While I haven’t yet decided where I’ll be when I ring in 2006, I have been giving some serious thought to the things I want to change in my life. Oh, the list is so long it overwhelms me a bit so I’ve narrowed it down to a few feasible goals. (I believe feasibility is extremely important when setting goals! What is the point of setting goals if they are impossible?)
1. Get a little more adventure in my life! I’ve decided to accomplish this by combining my love of music and my love of travel. Every year, I’m going to go see at least one show in a new city. I think I’m going to kick it off by going to see Sigur Ros in Houston, TX this February. Anyone who’d like to join me is welcome.
2. Take people less seriously, especially when they are being cruel or manipulative.
3. Bring back disco for GOOD!
Okay I realize number three isn’t feasible, but a girl can dream right? So who’s up for checkin’ out Texas with me? Although, I suppose it would be more of an adventure if I embarked on it alone…hmmm. What do you, the reader think?

Scary Shizz...

I can't believe I keep forgetting to blog about this. So last week I worked the late shift because Jennie was out of town. It was Friday so everyone in the office left early, and our parking lot was empty by the time I closed up. Because of daylight savings it was pitch black outside, and as I made my way towards my car (at the far, isolated area of the lot) I heard an eerie snapping sound. In the spooky glow of the moonlight I saw a man dressed head to toe in black and cracking a whip loudly. How he had gotten through the security gates I can only wonder. The steady snap-snap of his whip was matched by equally steady steps.-heading right towards me. Oh, the last thing I wanted was to get whipped to death by this unknown assailant in front of my place of employment. I tried to convince myself that it was a performer from the O show who had decided to practice outside for a change...but that didn't stop me from hiding behind one of the executives spare cars (a mazaratti, if anyone wanted to know) and sneaking to my car like a coward. Even now, I still don't know who he is or what he was doing...just that I am lucky to have made it out with out recieving a few lashes to remember him by.

Woa...

I just realized that today is November 17th. If Mike and I had stayed married, today would be our 4 year wedding anniversary...that is if he hadn't murdered me in my sleep. A few reasons I'm glad I left him
* I would have never met my wonderful Gena-Bambena
* We would have had bipolar-schizophrenic babies-YIKES!
* He was afraid of airplanes-kiss that trip to Glascow goodbye!
* I would be living in Utah right now, scraping ice off my windshield, brrrr.
* I would still be working for the State, which means I most likely would have been 50 + pounds overweight, depressed, and wearing chic jeans on dressdown Fridays.
* He would have forced me to watch every Jean Claude Van Damm movie ever made
* And ya, I guess there is the fact that I could very well have been murdered in my sleep.
It is great to be alive! Why?

* Taco Tuesday at Del Taco
* Arrested Development Monday nights (that is when a stupid 2 hour episode of Prison Break doesn't replace it.)
* Harry Potter
* Silly Socks
* Disco Dancing at House of Blues
* Cody, Colton, Ethan, Austin, Haley, and Charise and Ant's new addition. HA HA HA Just kidding.
* PIE!!!
* Discovering cool obscure bands and then snubbing those who have never heard of them. HA! My new faves-Sweden's The Radio Dept. Check them out yo!
* Sitting at work, bored out of my mind blogging about nothing...and everything.
Hugs and Glabens everyone!

Siskell and Suzy

In light of the spectacular movie I watched last night, I decided I'm going to name myself a film critic. This way I get to discuss movies in fashions more intelligent than simply saying "Wow. Sweet flick," or "Can't wait to buy that DVD." Not to mention, every movie I see will be a tax write off-cha ching! At $9.25, the savings will add up fast!
Last night I had the pleasure of viewing New York Doll, the documentery on Arthur, the bass player of The New York Dolls. My initial response? Sweet flick!! Can't wait to buy that DVD!
Seriously though, this movie was chock full of everything that makes a great documentary. From er...raw...human emotion, to an example of...the true courage of human spirit-AWWWW who am I kidding? I'm no film critic. But I did love this movie-I'd call it the "Feel Good Movie of the Year." I left with a smile on my face and heart, and renewed optimism for life in general. I hopped in my car, popped in London Calling by the Clash and rocked all the way home.
Stay tuned for my reviews of
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
and
RENT.

We keep blogging each other!!!

Okay, ladies. I believe I figured it out. When you go to dashboard everybody's blog is represented. We can blog each other by clicking "New Post" under the other's title. For example, Michelle you must have clicked "New Post" under "Look at me! I blog!" And now scandal will be errupting all over because people will read it and think I am having some sort of affair with YOUR Dino and am considering moving in with him. Ha! What will people say???? Maybe that is why Steve hasn't called me. He probably read that, branded me as a harlotte and wrote me off forever! Oh the drama! The scandal!

How do you live with a significant other?

Ok sistahs....
I have no experience in this category. And although I can act nonchalant about it.... the thought of living with Dino has elements of dread to it.

When you live with a family member.... they grew up with you... you developed your strengths and flaws together... slowly... over time. They accept you just the way you are... they don't know any other you!

They also.... having spent a lifetime with you.... are not adverse to you taking a little time to yourself. Ahhhh alone time.

How do you get alone time when you live with a "lover"/"husband"/"boyfriend" ?

When do you find the occasion to put on a facial mask... pop in a chick flick... pour a glass of wine... devour a pint of Ben&Jerry's... and do your nails.... without interruption or feeling ridiculous or guiltily selfish. How do you get dressed in the morning without your favorite "Get Going" CD? How do you explain that you want a hot bubble bath with a sexy cd, wine, chocolates and oysters.... ALONE.

These are some of my fears.
HELP ME!!!

Can I have your baby?

Okay, upon reading that title I realize there must be a better way to have said that. What I mean was at the barbeque I went to Saturday night, my long lost friends Linda and Ryan showed up and brought their chubby baby Lincoln. Funny thing is he is 8 months old now, and this is the first time any of us at the party had seen him. He was the secret baby we didn’t believe really existed. But he does exist and he is the cutest, roundest, happiest little squirt. I love babies that I can make laugh, and all it took was my human kazoo noises and Lincoln was giggling to the point of excessive drooling. Awww, now that is the type of appreciation any performer could ever ask for. Of course, babies go to bed early, and the evening was wrapped up by 8 o’clock. From there, I proceeded to yet another party. This one was a bonfire type thing, and upon my arrival I realized showing up was a mistake. Picture this-20 or so frisky young men jumping around to hip hop while a mere 3 or 4 girls huddle about in Old Navy sweatshirts, flirting madly with anyone and everyone. I’m proud of myself though-I stuck it out for a good hour or so before rolling my eyes and saying “See ya!” Usually I only last 5 minutes. I did get to see Jeff and Van, which is a plus. The two coolest guys with very obscure lifestyles so it is hard to see them. Jeff is sort of like the sasquatch. You catch rare glimpses of him, and it is always exciting. I haven’t seen him since he tried to take me on a date the night I found out Mary’s mom died. It was our first and last date, because for obvious reasons I was no fun whatsoever. Van on the other hand, is not like the sasquatch. Glimpses of him are rare, but not exciting. Just fun and comfortable. Like catching a glimpse of your old Beehive teacher or something. I wonder what Sister Comer is up to these days? She was so cool.

Study THIS!

Winter in Las Vegas is wonderful. The sun shines, birds chirp and the nights are absolutely perfect for hot tubbing with a few close friends. Last night the close friends happened to be Gena and Mike. Secretely I had hoped that with the news that Steve would not be joining us, Gena would opt for a girls only night and leave Mike at home. My hopes were shattered of course, when she showed up with the Useless Vine in tow. Surprisingly though, all went well through the hot tub part. I had just gone to see Leisle, my fabulous stylist the day before and had a hip new cut and color job which looked great with my cute little OP swimming suit. Ever noticed how things go so much better when you feel better about yourself? Maybe that's shallow of me, but if I don't look my best it is hard to have a good time. After the hot tubbing was when the irritation began. No, I'm not talking about a rash from the chlorine. That would have been unfortunate...but what really happened was much worse. I will never understand Mormon courtship as long as I live. Gena and Mike have been dating for quite some time now, sealed their newfound love with a kiss nearly a month ago and it is common knowledge. Yet they are still displaying obscene amounts of pre-relationship PDA. (For a definition of pre-relationship PDA refer to "It Begins...") We started to watch Tim Burton's masterpiece Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory and that is when it all began. I can't believe I shared the couch with two young people who were so obviously in heat. Tickling, giggling, shoving, wrestling all through the whole movie! My head still hurts from fake laughing every time I got a toe in the eye of a fist in my stomach. "Oh you two, crazy kids" is a phrase I must have uttered a dozen times. Finally, after Gena knocked a glass off the coffee table and spilled a bag of chips I was forced to be blunt. "Look, Mike will you just put your arm around her already? Geezzzz." After that they finally settled down a bit...but my eye didn't stop twitching. Why is that? So needless to say I'm going to a barbeque tonight where they will be nowhere in sight! But Josh and his new bride will be there, as well as Linda and Ryan. So that should be interesting...

WWwwwwwwwwweird

I am weird-no denying it. I have all sorts of strange fascinations, one of them being what other people in the employee dining room are eating for lunch. While maneuvering through the cafeteria with my plate in one hand and a book in the other, I peer slyly over the shoulders of my fellow Bellagio employees attempting to catch a glimpse of their meals. Especially intriguing to me are the meals of our rail-thin cocktail waitresses. Legs like wires, impressive cabooses and tiny waists-how do they do it? Well, today while helping myself to a refreshing beverage I caught a nice long look at one of their trays. One bagel, toasted no butter or spread of any kind, a scoop of plain white rice, and a carton of Marlboro lights. Fascinating! Made me feel a little guilty about my bowl of lentil soup and egg rolls. But I’ve started going to spin class again so that makes it okay, right? Right???
Some other strange fascinations I have:

1. Feet-I just love them!
2. Hands-the most attractive feature of a man!
3. People wearing fanny packs-I'd just about give anything to know the contents of the world's fanny packs.
4. Jandek-he is this crazy mystery musician from Texas. His music is so strange and lonely and few people know his true identity.
5. Haunted houses-need I say more?

Life is SO INTERESTING!

I just decided to delete this blog-upon the second time reading it I decided it was insensitive. I mean, if I somehow found myself incarcarated in El Salvador I wouldn't want people to blog about it...or would I?

I Feel SO Cool

So I have recently started guitar lessons with my friend Dan-a.k.a “Big Dan” as he is 6’7” tall. Big Dan is a rare find as far as guitar players/instructors go because he is a leftie such as myself! He has even loaned me a leftie guitar to take home and practice with-which I have been doing diligently. I don’t know if I’m making much progress, I really have trouble stretching my fingers as far as they need to go. Maybe Marc could give me a few pointers? Well, one thing I do know is I had to take the guitar to work with me today, since I go strait from work to institute to Dan’s. Boy do I feel nifty walking around with a guitar like a bohemian in business casual. I just hope no one asks me to “Play a song Suzy, somethen’ real purty like.” So far the only song I’ve learned to play is the first part of Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters.” I’m not particularly interested in playing Metallica, but I guess a lot of their music is so basic it is ideal for beginners. Don’t worry though, just because I’m strumming metal doesn’t mean I’ll soon be sporting a chick mullet and flashing the “rock on” sign while wiggling my tongue crazily at rock concerts. We all know my mane isn’t thick enough to support a mullet anyway.

For Jez…Some Annoying Advice You’re Probably Sick of Hearing

NEVER date a man who:
*Uses the word “ain’t.” The only time “ain’t” is acceptable is when mocking red-necks, Sweet-bros, gangstas’ and Anna Nichole Smith.
*Tries to “bum” anything off of you-whether it is a “smoke” a “buck” or anything else.
*Burns incense in his crappy little apartment that he shares with eight other stinky dudes.
*Gets frisky with you and then accuses YOU of taking advantage of his vulnerability.
*Has a tattoo with his OTHER girlfriend’s name in it, and then asks you to rub lotion on it because it is “dry and sensitive.”
*Considers the “F” word a noun, verb, or adjective.

In other words-Nikki, you are NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO JOEY EVER AGAIN!!!