Lately, I've been taking advantage of a program put on by my local library which showcases independent/foreign films. Last week, the film was Me and You and Everyone We Know, which won some sort of award at Sundance. Mostly, I didn't like it that much. It seemed to fulfill every independent film cliche ever.
These clichets compose the formula for making an indepent film to appeal to viewers of highter intellect. The more cliches one can cram into the film, the more succesful with the hipsters it will be. So let's get started making our independent film!
First, the lead male character must be slim with orchid white skin.
This male character's complexion is essential, as he will have many close up shots when he stares at things. Which leads me to another cliche of independent films. Staring. Countless, endless shots of staring. Perhaps someone will be staring out a window. Perhaps the staring will be focused at a crumpled newspaper laying wilted in the city sun. It doesn't matter. Staring will occur. Sometimes zany music will be playing in the background. Often the staring will take place in silence. The main thing one must consider with staring, is that if everyday, run-o-the mill American Joe's would find the object of the staring dull or insignificant it will make a great shot for your indie film. Now, if your character is staring at a monkey spanking a large breasted blonde woman with a freshly baked baguet, it doesn't fit the formula. Got it?
Another cliche of independent film is children acting like adults. Speaking much too coherently is one trait of these mentally-overdeveloped "children." Another way these so called "kids" act out their freakish maturity is to engage in sexual activities, or discuss engaging in sexual activities. Usually, said activities don't take place with other kids either. They always find some creepy pervo-adult with an underdeveloped sense of good judgement to seduce.
A third cliche is the saga of the struggling artist. No matter the art form, no matter the medium, the artist will struggle. Yet, they struggle succesfully. Allow me to clarify. Though said artist has no source of income, rent always gets paid somehow.
The final cliche I would like to discuss (though there are countless cliches to watch for besides the ones listed) is the dsyfunctional love affair. Now, I know better than anyone that love naturally is dsyfunctional so putting it into a movie is realistic right? Right! But in indie films, it works out. The slacker artist with the bad temper and drug addiction is tamed by the love of the fair maiden. Or suicidal girl is "saved" by an ex-con man with a wooden leg and a history of violent alcoholism. In the case of Me and You and Everyone We Know...well, never mind. I don't want to give away the ending! Besides, isn't it more fun to find the cliches yourself? Try to make a game of it. That's what I do! Now, I'm going to log on to the library's website and see what film is playing tonight!
