Wanna?

I just scored two free tickets to...to...

NEIL DIAMOND!!!!!!!

Anybody wanna go with me? Charise, I know you want to drive in from Cali to come with me...

Now, children...who would like to hear a story?

Fairy Tale: How the Useless Vine got his name…

Once upon a time, in a hot dry desert there lived two beautiful girls. One was named Gena and the other, Suzy. Gena and Suzy were spunky, fun and just a tiny bit sassy. One day, while at the gym they ran into two boys named Mike and Eric, who Gena knew from church. The foursome clicked instantly and began spending lots of time together. March passed, then April and finally May. Gena really liked Mike, but he still hadn’t asked her out on a date. In fact, he pulled the ol’ “Woops, I forgot my money routine” multiple times when the dinner bill came around. Once Suzy had to cover his dinner, Gena had to cover him once, and even Eric had too. Summer passed and there were trips to the lake, parties, and lots of hot tubbing. Gena and Mike were finally starting to make some romantic headway. Mike even seemed to be pursuing her. He called her, texted her, emailed her, and even started taking her on dates. Since Gena had moved to Logan, UT over the summer, Mike arranged for a few road trips to see her. He finally became a man and kissed her and told her how much he liked her and liked being with her. He gave her a birthday present. Everything seemed to be going well, but then he got distant on her. Gena tried to talk to him about when she was in town, but he said everything was alright. Well, a few days later she received a text message from him that said “Gena, I’m so so sorry, but I met the girl I’m going to marry and it wouldn’t be fair to her if we still communicate.”

That is how the Useless Vine his name. But wait-he was called that loooooong before he dumped Gena with a text message. Actually, he is called the Useless Vine because
He bad mouthed my sister in front of me
He looks like a vine-all long and green, limp and droopy.
He tried to cop a feel on Gena several times, but gives her a hard time for OCCASIONALLY watching R rated movies.
He refuses to read any book that isn’t published by *The Church.
I’m sure I could go on and on…I’m just a little annoyed at him right now.




*I too, am a fan of books published by The Church. However, I also see the important place non-church books have in my life. After all, Ayn Rand was an atheist, Harper Lee a Methodist, and who knows what L.M. Montgomery is.

Last Night...

Last night I looked with bloodshot, drooping eyes at my enormous suitcase and decided there was no way unpacking it would occur until I got some sleep.
Last night I turned down a *Walter’s party so I could go to bed early.
Last night I talked on the phone with Mary until I nearly peed my pants.
Last night I had beef jerky for dinner, and gummy worms for dessert.
Last night I had the silliest conversation with my friend Matt. It was all about magic. Seriously, magic.
Last night I started To Kill a Mockingbird for the 7 millionth time.
Last night I went to bed at 7:30 pm.
I'd say...last night was a very good night.





*Walter’s parties are the best! Best food, best crowds, best music. Last year I went to one, and the buffet set up was so beautiful I nearly cried.

FloriDUH

Ya, ya, ya…Miami…South Beach! Love it! So tired, so thoughts scattered. Sun, warm, even managed to meet a couple of attractive, strait men…okay, ONE but who’s counting? Tasty food, lots to see, over sleeping, sun burnt nose. Strange Key Largo, Florida’s Gunnison on the bay! Watch for alligators, Hobo’s Diner, snorkeling-see the pretty fishes? Careful, don’t swallow too much sea water! Don’t have pictures yet, so here is a random one of me-steppen’ out.
Will write more after I’ve had a nap and a snack.

Such Great Heights

Today I get to fly again! I adore flying, and this will be an especially exciting trip for me because it is the longest flight I have ever gone on. For the first time in my life, I will eat an airplane meal! More than likely I will have to use an airplane bathroom! I will get jet lag! These are all firsts for me! I’m going to Miami and Key Largo for Christmas! I can’t stop using exclamation points! Hooray!

"Our Song"

Henderson, NV is a strange town. For some reason, it doesn't pick up radio transmission very well, especially indoors. As a result, I get only two stations on my radio alarm clock. EXTREME Radio 107.5 or Sunny 106.5, The Soft Music Station. There is nothing EXTREME about 6 a.m., so I opt to keep my alarm set to the soft music station. Starting Thanksgiving day though, they trade in their adult contemperary for "your favorite holiday hits." While my favorite holiday hits do NOT include songs by Clay Aiken, Kenny Rogers, Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, or Back Street Boys, they do manage to slip in a song every now and then that I love. Any Christmas song from the Carpenters, Bing Crosby, or Frank Sinatra is always nice to hear. This morning, however I was treated to my all time favorite Christmas song of all time. Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time." I am not lying when I say as soon as I heard the first note of this beloved song, I sprung from my bed with a smile on my face and began dancing a tiny Christmas jig in my Curios George jammies. This song is one of me and Charise's songs. As I danced, it got me thinking about "Our Songs." Charise and I actually have several "Our Songs," all of which I will list now.
"Wonderful Christmas Time" Paul McCartney
"How Deep is Your Love?" The Bee Gees
That one Soundgarden song we always heard on the way to school.
"Today Was a Good Day," Ice Cube?
"Shot in the Arm" Wilco
"Slow Hands" (Brit Daniels Remix) Interpol
"We have a Piano Of Carse" by...I don't know who that one is by. Charise?
Have I left any out??? We have lots of songs...
Oh ya! "Trial of the Century" French Kicks

Nik- you and I have a few songs too.

"My Stoney Baby" 311
"Cinderella Undercover" Oingo Boingo

Hmmm...that is all I can think of. We need more.

Taranti-NO

I have never seen a Quentin Tarantino film. If I am lucky, I will never see a Quentin Tarantino film. People say he’s brilliant. Talk to any male friend you know, and they will tell you the Kill Bill movies are somewhere on their “Top 10.” A large population of women feel the same way. I don’t know what the rhubarb is. It sounds to me like all he does is take a bunch of beautiful people, violently hack them to pieces, put them back together again and do it all while weaving a vibrant tapestry of profanity. Perhaps I shouldn’t judge his work so harshly; after all as I previously mentioned I never have seen any of it. Last night, however I saw a preview for a movie that reinforced everything I believed…and then some. During a commercial break while watching A.D., I surfed casually to MTV2 and was sucker-punched by the most disturbing movie preview for Tarantino’s new film called “Hostel.” Boasting “the most disturbing scenes of torture ever put on film” and how “paramedics had to rush to the screening because people were passing out and having heart attacks due to the graphic nature” this movie seems to be basing its entire campaign on violence. I couldn’t even sit through the preview. Movies like this scare me. They scare me because of the plot, but they scare me more because someone was inspired to create such a plot. Somewhere in the recesses of someone’s mind, plots as brutal and disturbing as this were conceived, nurtured, and brought to full blown adulthood to be marketed to the public who will watch, while noshing on popcorn and red vines. How sick is that?

Simply Haven' A Wonderful Christmas Time!

Who ever knew company parties could be so fun? Our department held a CHRISTMAS party this week. Not a Holiday Happening, or a Seasonal Shin-Dig, an actual Christmas party. I love to see corporate America sticken’ it to political correctness every now and then. For the record, there are two lovely Jewish women in our department who thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It’s a good thing I wore a turtleneck sweater because this was one swanky party. Held on the top floor of Bellagio’s new tower in the Chairman Suite, the party consisted of a delicious lunch and a white elephant gift exchange. Good times, good times.

Guess What I Scored?????

An official Siegfried and Roy 2006 Calendar !!! Can you believe my boss was just going to toss it away?
I tell ya, I’m blessed. Truly, truly blessed.
In other news (though not nearly as exciting as my new calendar) Brent’s leg is healing nicely and he is now able to move about with crutches! His doctors have even removed the stitches from where his bone broke through the skin. I saw said stitches, and they looked awful, so the removal of them is a very positive thing. He may even be able to drive to his family Christmas party this weekend. He’s taking me with him again this year, due to our victory in the cookie decorating contest last year. Yessir, I still have me some mad decorating skillz from my Kencraft Days. Charise, do you ever miss that job? I know I do. If I could earn, say 40-50 grand a year doing that, I would be dangerously content to work there for the rest of my life. It’s semi-artistic (what, making kitty faces out of icing isn’t art?), doesn’t involve customer service at all, and we were free to listen to music or books on headphones all day long. I remember my old routine. Chunga and Mister from 7-10, Rush Limbaugh from 10-1, Dr. Laura until 1:20 when I left for the day. When I became bored with those, there were plenty of books on tape circulating the department. I read (and by read I mean “listened to”) many exciting whodunits, as well as some pretty racy love stories that had me blushing in my britches. Somehow I managed to skip all those horrible Anita Stanfield novels-how did that happen? I don’t know. I’m just blessed. Truly, truly blessed.

Am I So Out of Touch?

Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the plethora of fabulous concerts I’ve been able attend in my life. From Oingo Boingo to Wilco to Depeche Mode, I have witnessed musical genius on many different levels. None of which was displayed at last nights Billboard Music Awards. Opening was a performance of Holiday by Greenday, a peppy hit from our new anti-Bush spokesmen. While I’m not keen on the Green, it was a rousing display of energy and pyrotechnics. Although, I’m still trying to figure out the metaphor behind the silly crutch Bill Joe waved around at the end before snapping it in two and throwing it to the ground like a frustrated three-year-old. After that, it was yawn central. Countless performances of R&B songs, complete with more choreographed gyrating than a Fosse musical were accented by the occasional “Hooray for everything!” statements. All throughout the show, the announcer teased about a “Special performance” by a “Secret Performer.” This kept everyone’s attention, and whispers floated over the audience of possible artists. “I heard Brittany Spears was sighted…maybe it’s her?” “Aerosmith loves Las Vegas, maybe it’s them?” “Michael Jackson, attempting to make a comeback?” Well ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your socks…the secret artist was…was…
R KELLY, who had, in fact already performed earlier in the show. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? What a let down! But before I sound like a complete pessimist who would be disappointed with a unicorn for my 8th birthday, let me review some of the highlights.
*Gwen Steffoni-darling Gwen. She never disappoints, and looked like an absolute darling in her little red dress.
*Tom Petty and the tribute to him. What an amazing man, an amazing musician.
And…
*I’m a little embarrassed to admit, I enjoyed Carrie Underwood While I’m not big on the American Idol phenomenon, it was refreshing to hear a young, vibrant girl sing with an amazing voice and absolutely no pelvic thrusts.
Perhaps I shouldn’t bag on the show so much. Really, the problem could lie in myself. Maybe I just don’t know good music. There is a chance that I’m ridiculously out of touch. But I don’t ever want that to change. Not ever! But who knows…if I keep up my guitar playing I just may be asked someday to appear on some lame awards show.
Nahhhhhhhhh!

I've Made a Huge Mistake

While writing back and forth with Eric (El Salvador boy) today, he brought up the whole "gay" incident. Great, time to dig up past silliness. I explained to him the whole thing was because I'd been head-over-heels for him since my Cinco De Mayo party. I wasn't sure how to work in the fact that I didn't like him that way anymore without sounding like a jerk...or worse, sounding like I still liked him but was trying to hide it. I just let it go...stoooooooopid. He's coming home in two weeks and I'm so embarassed, a feeling I'm experience increasingly this past month or so. Now would be a good time, I think, for me to relocate to Guam. Holler if you hear me!

Suzy Sell-Out, and other miscellaneous items of bizzness.

Yes, you read right. I'm sellllllling out. Oh, don't act so shocked. It was inevitable...one can only rise above the waters of corporate America for so long before the desire to take a swallow overcomes. Yes, I'm going to the Billboard Music Awards. Yeesh. You would too, if you were given free tickets.
Moving on, did anyone watch the Christmas message from the First Presidency last night? I went to the broadcast with Gavin (good, ol' reliable Gavin) and can honestly say I am no longer the little girl who hated Christmas. The warm fuzzies were flowing like monsoon rains and I'm ready to embrace the holiday season at last. Bring on the egg-nog, Christmas specials, and most importantly-holiday hugs! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
PS-I have a second audition tonight. Wish me luck...er, break a leg!!

A Silly Winter Poem...See how silly?

If a snowman were my boyfriend…

He’d be there during the winter months, which is longer than most guys stick around. He’d never mess around, just sit loyally on the front yard until that jezebel, the sun, stole him forever. Snowmen have great style, they accessorize with scarves and other knick-knacks. It’s a shame I live in the desert. I wish I lived in the dessert.